My brother.

For the longest time now, the past 2 years, I've had Paul's voice as my text message alert sound. It's great to hear his voice and to remember what it sounds like. Some days it can totally catch me off guard and then I realize that I will no longer hear it in real life. He always had a way of making so many people laugh. It was his best quality.. humor. It's been hard not having him here. My life.. our life, is no longer the same. It will never be the same. I don't view things the same way anymore. Unfortunately my eyes have been opened in a way I never wished possible. I have hope and faith for the future. For the future that goes beyond this world and into the next. Jesus is the way and I know that Paul is in heaven giving lots of people a run for their money with nothing but laughter. Knowing that makes this life a tad bit lighter in grief because of that hope. I'm thankful for HIM! I'm thankful Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we may live for eternity in a place filled with no pain, sorrow or grief. Rather we may live in a place filled with pure happiness. Paul is waiting for us... I know it. So, here is a clip of my brother... love him now and always. My hero.

running in honor

I've picked up running again. I used to run more in college and then have since quit. I'm a swimmer. It comes so naturally. I can swim for an hour and never feel like it was a true workout. The pool is my home and the chlorine is my smell. It all began when I was 7 and didn't stop til I was finished competing in college. Right now though, my Y membership is done and I don't have a pool to swim in and come summer I most likely won't be going as much anyways... So, I'm not swimming at the moment. Until then.. I will run. It's harder for me and after 20 minutes I feel as though I have run for hours. It is not natural and a much harder workout. I do my runs for him. When the going gets tough I think of my brother and the other fallen heroes. I think of what they have given and what they would give to be able to run. It gets me through and I've actually become to start liking it. It is now "my" time and I find I push myself further each time. My competitive nature is coming out. :) At the last EXPO I met this sweet girl who was selling charms that benefited causes or where in memory of someone. My mom bought me the photo charm and I love it. He is with me every step of the way. If you are looking for a charm go HERE! She has a lot more at the EXPO though.